The Dreaded Web questionnaire

I've received tons of these over the years, so here's my new twist. I'm giving two answers to each question. One true and one false. I'll leave it to you to figure out which is which. You can answer these questions for yourself in the comments.

1. First Name? Guillermo. William
2. Were you named after anyone? No. Yes. (Red Sox pitcher Spaceman Bill Lee)
3. Which finger is your favorite? Left ring finger. Right pinky.
4. Are you answering these questions during work? No. Yes.
5. When did you last cry? Ronald Reagan's funeral. When I heard someone reading "The Giving Tree" to her kids.
6. Do you like your handwriting? Yes. (I dot my "i" with a heart.) No. (Everything looks like a seismograph.)
7. What is your favorite lunch meat? Corned beef. Liverwurst.
8. Any bad habits? I don't pick up after myself. Calling everybody "Chief".
9. What is your most embarrassing CD? Limp Bizkit. (It was a gift.) Will Howard's Greatest Hit. (One hit wonder from the 80's. You all remember that novelty dance hit "Dunkey Butt")
10. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Yes. I am a lovely person. No. I smell like butt.
11. Are you a daredevil? Actually, I am Daredevil, the man with no fear. No. I like calculated risk.
12. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Yes. Sorry about that audit, Dave. No.
13. Do looks matter? Yes. Especially when you're on the receiving end. No, not with my vision.
14. How do you release anger? I record punk songs under the name "Jonas P. Birthday". I run. A lot.
15. Where is your second home? Yeehaw Junction FL. It's a little cabin that we go to when we want to hunt wild boar. The Boston Kung Fu Tai Chi Institute.
16. Do you trust others easily? No. Especially if you're in the government. Yes. Let's go play in the park with fluffy bunnies!
17. What was your favorite toy as a child? Fisher Price record player. Fisher Price Popcorn Popper rolling thingy.
18. What class in school do you think is totally useless? Economics. English
19. Do you have a journal? No. I don't want a paper trail. Yes. You're looking at it.
20. Do you use sarcasm a lot? No. Never. Yes. Never.
21. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? No. I was raised in the town they based Footloose on. Yeah. I've taken a few Doc Martens to the head in my day.
22. What do you look for in a Wo/Man? Intelligence that they're not afraid to use. Fake boobs.
23. Who is your favorite singer? Thom Yorke. Thom McAm.
24. What are your nicknames? Lefty, Gomu, Astrid, Kaiser.
25. Would you bungee jump? Yes. Despite the fear. No. I'm elastaphobic.
26. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No. I only wear velcro shoes. Yes. That's the purpose of laces.
27. Do you think that you are strong? Yes. I work very hard at it. No. I get sand kicked in my face at the beach.
28. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Earwax. Oatmeal Raisin.
29. Shoe Size? 9.5/8.0
30. What are your favorite colors? Blue. No, yellow.
31. What is your least favorite thing? Long questionnaires. Smoky rooms.
32. How many wisdom teeth do you have? 0. 11.
33. How many people have a crush on you right now? One. I'm a married man. 38. I took a poll.
34. Who do you miss most right now? My grandmother. Ronald Reagan.
35. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back? Yes. It's interesting to see all the different takes on the world. No. I don't want you to take up this much time doing this.
36. What color pants are you wearing? Brown shorts. Yellow and green clown pants.
37. What are you listening to right now? Limp Bizkit. The sound of Beacon St. and the air conditioners of my neighbors.