Oxymorons in daily life

I was in the corner store the other day, looking for a diet soda before working out. I came across Vault Zero. It's a diet energy drink. So it's zero calories. What is energy measured in? Calories. It's an energy drink that provides zero energy. It's basically a caffeine delivery mechanism.

iPod as Magic 8 Ball

This idea is stolen from the blog Emily Dickinson's Attic. Feel free to repurpose this for your ownself too. Put your media player onto shuffle, and let it answer the following questions for you:

How does the world see me?
”We Can Figure This Out” – Vulgar Boatmen. That's very optimistic of you, dear world.

Will I have a happy life?
”All We Have Is Now” – Flaming Lips. Spooky, but I think it's pretty true. I'm pretty happy now and anticipate on being happy later too.

What do my friends really think of me?
”Solitary Man” – Johnny Cash. You people are my friends? :)

Do people secretly lust after me?
”Sounds of Science” - Beastie Boys. I have no idea what that means.

How can I make myself happy?
"Two Headed Boy” – Neutral Milk Hotel. Nothing like a good freak show, is there?

What should I do with my life?
"Downtown Train” by Tom Waits. Jen probably loves the idea of moving back somewhere on the downtown train in Manhattan.

Will I ever have children?
"Dance Me To The End of Love” – Leonard Cohen. Cohen tells the truth about Jasper.

What is some good advice for me?
"The Late Greats” – Wilco. Hey, iPod? That's not a complete sentence.

How will I be remembered?
"Loquesto International Film Festival” – Mark Mothersbaugh. The documentary division, I'm sure.

What is my signature song?
"Time After Time” – Cyndi Lauper. Hm?

What type of men / women do I like?
"Undercover of the Night” – Rolling Stones. No comment.

What is my day going to be like?
"Watching the Detectives” – Elvis Costello. "She's filing her nails as they're dragging the lake."

What do I think my current theme song is?
"Napalm Brain” – DJ Shadow. That's about right.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
"Special” by Garbage. Awww, thanks. That makes up for "Solitary Man."

What song will play at my funeral?
"Can You Fly?” – Freedy Johnston. I guess we'll find out the answer to that then.

Play

I just picked up our copy of Playful Parenting the other day, and it hit me how important play is in all of our lives. The book points out that playing is a baby's job. This is how he learns about the world. Not only is play teaching the baby things, but it should also be fun, so he's encouraged to keep learning and discovering.

I was in the gym at work the other day, messing around with the medicine ball. One of the other guys here at work asked me why I used the ball instead of the weight machines. I've always hated lifting weights. I told him that the ball makes me feel like I'm playing. After all, pushing iron is working out. I go to the gym to get a break from work.

I also realized why I love going to kung fu so much. It's my opportunity to go play with my friends. We're learning how to push our bodies, but we're having fun too.

Animals learn by playing too. I found this website dedicated to exercising like were were playing: Go Animal. It's a great idea. You'll exercise more if you are having fun. It's positive reinforcement. I think I'm gonna go with an all play exercise regiment from here on out. It's a good thing running feels like play too.

Jeopardy Audition Day

I took the day off from work today so I could audition for Jeopardy. Jen, Jasper and I were going out to breakfast when I started remembering all the weird superstitions that I used to have before academic competitions when I was a kid. I remember having to use the same Blackfeet Buckskin #2 pencil and wear the same pair of white Puma sneakers every time. I also remember having to listen to side one of U2's War album on my Walkman. (I'm old, so what?) So I took it as a bit of serendipity when there were two questions about U2 during the audition.

I got to the hotel where the auditions were being held about an hour early. I told Jen that I was more nervous about being there on time than about the auditions themselves. I was first to check in and fill out the paperwork. They took a Polaroid picture of each of the potential contestants. During my session there were about 25 of us. The demographics certainly seemed slanted to white middle class. I suppose this is who watches Jeopardy, after all. There was one African American woman, a young Latino law student, me and a bunch of Caucasian doctors, nurses, lawyer and students. Those four occupations made up 90% of the population.

We each got a freebie Jeopardy pen and set off on the 50 question written test. I only came up blank on two or three questions. Seriously, I studied poetry and I don't think I could come up with ANY Edna St. Vincent Millay quotes, much less they one they were looking for.

Then we each played a round of Jeopardy with the buzzers and opponents. I got to go twice, as our group was not divisible by three. I got to play in the last two rounds. At first, I found that I was going blank and not really seeing the clues. After a minute or two, I got rolling. I ran a category or two. The contestant coordinators told me I had very good energy. I felt very good about my performance.

I felt a little weird in that everyone else in the room clearly watches Jeopardy everyday. They gave out DVDs to whoever could name the person who defeated Ken Jennings in the Tournement of Champions, and who finally beat him in the run of play. I had NO idea. I can't name anyone involved with Jeopardy besides, Alex Trebek, Merv Griffin and now Maggie, Robert and Mike (the contestant coordinator crew).

Some of the other contestant hopefuls told me that they were impressed with my breadth of knowledge "for a young guy". At the end of the session we found out that we'd all passed and we're all in the contestant pool for the next year. It's sort of like being in a jury pool. We may or may not be called in the next 12-18 months. Well, here's to hoping. If nothing else, I had a good time and got a Jeopardy pen.

James Joyce 10K Ramble

Photo by Ted Tyler at Coolrunning.